I received the most amazing message the other day from a friend with whom I attended college over 35 years ago. This is a woman with whom I lost touch almost immediately after graduation but never forgot. She was this beautiful natural redhead with depth and aura. I often wondered what happened to her. Thanks to the wonder of the internet, we rediscovered each other and, since she’s a kindred spirit, we took up where we left off, not having to communicate with great regularity, but with the knowledge that whenever we would communicate, it would always be the same, wondrous, easy dialog we’ve always enjoyed. These types of connections are real, powerful and prove that we are energy – and that as such, we connect at levels so much deeper than we are aware of at the surface.
Her message had to do with the issues we face as artists and creatives – the most notable, being understood by those around us. My friend contends, in her message to me, that the reason creatives sometimes feel like fish out of water has to do with…
“…A very fundamental difference in how we see the world, and what’s important to us.”
This different way of seeing the world alters our perceptions, and makes us vulnerable in ways that are difficult to articulate. There are not many creative people I know that have not experienced some sense of sitting on the outside. As if being creatively individualistic is sometimes too much of a challenge for group think, and therefore isn’t always appreciated. Creative people are often seen as demanding, because of the desire to be understood.
Creativity is a burden and a gift. It can make life difficult; it can challenge relationships between ourselves and others but at the same time it gives us tremendous opportunity.
It’s as if the lens of the creative person focuses on things that don’t even seem to be there at first glance, and then tortures itself to bring those things into focus, obliterating the obvious, exalting the subtle. The creative person digs, sometimes with great fury, to uncover the greatness in the ordinary, the meaning in the forgotten. And she does this because she can’t not do it. Because to not do it means to die inside.
Because the creative person is nothing if not curious. And curiosity brings with with it, by its very nature, change. Development. Growth. Casting away of one school of thought, opening to another. And that brings with it humility, vulnerability and sometimes pain.
Each of us, at our core, is creative. Curiosity is something with we humans are each born. We can take that curiosity and bury it. We can think of life as boring and dull, and make our own existence living proof that it is so. Or we can honor our own creativity, allowing it to blossom in which ever way seems the best for our nature. Creativity is not limited to art and music. It encompasses everything from math to Mozart. From chemistry to Cézanne. There is creativity in how we live, what we wear, how we express ourselves.
But creativity does not stand a chance if there is no curiosity behind it. And curiosity, by its very nature, comes with a life long question mark.
What can you do?
What can you reach for?
How far can you go?
There is power in the knowledge that the answer to all of these questions will always be more questions. We’re not really here at all to get answers, because there aren’t any, not really. Which is why curiosity is so important. Our wisdom comes from the path, from the trying, from being open and humble, not from having the answers.
There are no final answers. There are only more questions. So you can roll up and die of boredom right this very minute or you can choose the other option.
Ask your questions. Work for the response, and discover the new questions buried within the answer.
Such is the life of a creative, curious person.
This is a message that’s worth repeating, and I’m glad you remind us frequently that the alternative to our creativity is boredom.
Good questions too.
Wow! What a beautiful and inspirational way to describe something that I have felt all my life, and have tried to instill in my children. Curiosity takes you places. It leads you to learning, growth and creativity. Most creative geniuses have been misunderstood . Creative minds are also comfortable being by themselves. They need that time alone so they can dedicate it to invent, paint, write, etc. Boredom should not be in our vocabularies, there is always something new to learn.
Yes. All of us are creative. Creativity lies within and waiting to be awakened.
It needs tending to blossom.
Wonderfully expressed, Diana. I can’t imagine a life without exploration, curiosity and wonder. Your words walk within my life and they validate all I feel. There is a blessing in being understood and I appreciate your thoughts more than you know. Grazie!
my life is certainly never dull, my curiosity for life leads me in all kinds of wonderful directions and has given me the gift of some incredible friendships. I continue to question and learn each day, sending love
lisa
WOW! Thank you for sharing your wonderful thoughts on the challenges of living life as curious and creative, which at times certainly makes me feel like swimming out of water. Living life being curious can be so challenging but also so wondrously rewarding. A constant search for new questions: what if?
Eh. Diana, I think you’re wonderful, and normally love your posts – but this one, not so much. Especially the beginning part.
Everyone sometimes feels like a fish out of water, not just those who identify themselves as “artists or creatives.” It’s a universal human experience. Those who don’t recognize this are not very aware of their fellow humans. Those who, further, attempt to explain their feelings of being on the outside by the fact that they are so special (and everyone else is so dull and engaging in groupthink) probably have a streak of narcissism in them.
Please note that I’m not saying this is true of you (which I don’t believe, based on your blog) or your friend. But I’ve met several people who think this way – they are special and therefore no one understands them – and can say that they are misguided. In most cases, they don’t relate to others because they make no attempt to do so. They’re not interested in the other persons’ lives, ask no questions, show no interest when others tell stories. Relationships are a two-way street, not just one person doing all the talking and getting all the focus because he’s “creative.”
For those people, maybe opening up to the fact that they are not the center of the universe, and that other people matter too, would do a great deal to alleviate their feelings of being on the outside. A person who is always interested in others will rarely feel on the outside of things.
Ha! Helen, I was just practicing recording my first podcast when the message came across my computer that carried your comment. I agree with you. I really and truly do!
But it might be my own inability to communicate what is actually a different point. It’s not, I don’t think or believe, that the creative person considers herself/himself special and therefore misunderstood. I’m not talking about the drama that creativity sometimes carries as its sidekick.
The point I’ve tried to make has to do with the insecurity one feels when her or his own basic sense of how the world functions isn’t validated by the environment she finds herself in. This is especially critical in the formative years — when even the family unit might not recognize, support, or validate the things the creative child sees or observes.
Most creatives that I have known that suffer are far from being people that want to make themselves the center of attention. They often suffer from just wanting to know they are ok. Often creatives are not extroverts, which brings another complication into the formula. They’re different AND they have trouble putting themselves out there.
And that’s why my friend’s comment to me was so interesting. She was raised in Central Pennsylvania, in a small city that was pretty much a cultural backwater. She felt at odds with her environment from the very beginning, because she saw things so differently as a child than her family. When she and I met, we recognized the spark in each other – and that spark is often the things that helps creative people be able to even embrace, at any level, their own talents and gives them permission to safely celebrate being different.
In any event, thank you for commenting. I hope I’ve clarified this a little!
And thank you to all of you for commenting on the post. Discussion is so important to all of us understanding each other!
Thank you for taking the time to explain, Diana. That makes sense.
When my daughter was small, we often took walks through a forested area close to home. In the spring, the may-apples, which look like tiny umbrellas, would be scattered under the trees in groups. Chris decided that they were the fairies’ family reunions and we would tell stories about them – the more may-apples, the bigger the family. One day, a friend of hers joined us. She didn’t get it. They were plants. The longer we walked and talked, she grew curious and began to enjoy our stories. By the time we came back out into the sunlight, she had designed clothing and little hats for them in her mind. She sparkled as she shared her ideas. We all, as you say, have creative minds waiting to blossom. A little curiosity and imagination can take you a long way.