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It’s there.
Hiding behind the noise, interactions and social negotiations that take place daily, it lingers, waiting sometimes months, sometimes decades to come out and and embrace you.
Oh, the subtle ways we compromise our lives away. Behind statements like “it’s not worth it” or “yeah, you’re right”, a type of paralysis sets in, the kind that alienates you from who you really are. Because at some level or another, we’re all harmony junkies. And harmony, the beautiful sound of complimentary notes, is so seductive that we don’t even know what we’re buying into to keep the music going until one day we wake up and and we get a big bill, the kind that comes in the form of realization – that what we’re putting out to people isn’t truly representative of who we really are, that we’re wasting our precious time on things that are not advancing our own causes, that we’ve missed the point that harmony inside of ourselves has to come before harmony outside ourselves. You know what harmony that’s based upon us shutting ourselves up is? It’s a myth, that’s what it is.
If we do the things that align ourselves with our own truth, it will set wheels in motion that will alter the course of every relationship we have with other people. Being true to ourselves requires bravery, but it won’t feel that way. It will feel like we’re just awful, like everyone around us thinks we’ve become self-absorbed, combative, hormonal, disagreeable, just well, different, and not in a good way. But a funny thing happens. If you stay with who you are, hold onto it, walk with your truth even if it’s not the most pleasant companion at times, relationships start to shift seismically, and the people that really understand, who have always really understood, will celebrate you.
The others? Well, that’s where the myth part comes in.
Because when harmony is based upon concepts that are out of whack with who we really are, like putting other people’s comfort level with us ahead of our own comfort level with us, it’s not harmony at all. It’s a self destructive, bad thing to do. And sometimes, we do it for years, not even giving it a second thought. Aren’t you kind of tired of keeping the peace for peace’s sake? I sure am. I mean I can be social. After all, I’m in the hospitality business, right? So I’m not going to whip out my “I respectfully disagree with what you’re saying there,” while I’m touring people around the pool.But in our core relationships, it’s my contention that we do all of them – and ourselves- a huge favor if they know who we are and where we stand. Like that they know who they are loving. And so do we. We’re loving our truth.
Taking this a notch further, I’d like to share some things I’ve been doing. First of all, I’ve completed my first novel, whose working title is True Vines. The manuscript is now out in the Universe chasing down its destiny as I try to become a published writer. The journey of writing True Vines was a steep, rugged path on several fronts. The book tells of a woman who at upper-midlife finds herself alone and starting again in the midst of radical geographical and emotional change. It’s a story about collecting the mosaic pieces of past experiences and setting them into some kind of pattern that speaks to a greater truth for the future.
Writing a 115,00o word novel was a reckoning of sorts. Before starting True Vines, I was about fifty percent through writing my memoir about opening our bed and breakfast. But something stopped me, blocked me from moving forward with that project. I just wasn’t feeling it: I had been through too much the last eight years with making this project happen and no words I was capable of into my Mac could adequately express the palate of emotions I had been through. Instead of fighting, I gave in to the message, and soon thereafter, out poured True Vines, like it had been waiting there the whole time behind my egotistical need to write memoir, hoping that I would at some point be ready to hear the voices of characters from which, during the course of writing the book, I learned so much. It’s a novel that searches for the truth inside each character’s flawed, pained, fragile stories. Writing it brought me so much, and I am so thankful to have been given the chance to take first steps in becoming an empathetic story teller.
Now that the novel is finished and on its path finding a way to you, I’m on to other things.
Pottery is one of them, of course, as it always will be. The yang to my writing yin.
Trying to get as healthy as possible for the 2012 season of arriving B&B guests is another. And a third is writing a new book, this time an Ebook, one that will be available to you directly from me, about finding your own personal truth, and taking occupancy of it. About coping with the consequences of shifting others’ paradigms of who we are by standing true to ourselves and about how to take that new found confidence and manifest new creations – creations based upon the things that are important to us as a soul level and making them happen because we can no longer stop our own truth from pouring out.
Does that sound like an exciting journey? It is, you know.
And since I work better under pressure, a fact that is a basic truth about who I am, I am putting the commitment to this new Ebook out to you now. I’ve started it, framed it, and I’ll be self publishing it – and keeping you informed about the process along the way.
The title? Your Truth. What else? It will be your book about the things that are tucked behind and hidden inside of your soul, waiting to come out and embrace you and change everything.
This is synchronicity Diana…last year for me has seen huge internal shifting and sifting going on and I’m trying to find my own true path, my purpose and what is authentically me…there are times I think I’m getting there and other times, like today, where I have a huge meltdown and say “is it worth it?” and “maybe I’m wrong”….woah…and then I see your post…and I know God is telling me to have faith…I WILL get there some how, some way, some day…
thank you for this <3
Lena, it’s a time consuming ordeal, finding out who we actually are and feeling comfortable in our own skins – especially if we’ve spent years, or maybe even half a lifetime trying to feel comfortable in a skin that wasn’t our own. Every time we feel like we’re failing at it, we’re actually succeeding, coming one baby step closer. It’s hard work. Don’t lose faith. xo
Che coraggio! Love this!
Thank you Joanna. I can’t wait to see where it all leads…
brava! best wishes
Grazie mille, Judy. xoxo
Brava! I can’t wait to read your novel. Have you decided not to write the memoir? I hope not.
All the best with your new and old ventures Diana!
b
Thanks, Barbara! Oh, no, I’ll write the memoir, but I know that having put it on hold for the last year was exactly the right thing to do. It’s already coming back to me in the form of ideas and realizations that I never would have contemplated last year. All the best right back to you, lovely.
Wow, exciting! Two completed, actual books under your belt! Brava! Can’t wait to see when they come out!
Well, technically, one is completed and the other is underway! But the first was a huge accomplishment and I’m really happy to have it out of myself now. Grazie, cara Sara!
Your post is perfectly timed. Perhaps I was divinely directed to you. Nonetheless, loved the post and am anxiously awaiting your book. Cheers!
Talia, thank you very much for your comment and I hope you find a calm place to land here. Cheers right back to you.
I am reminded of “be yourself–those that matter won’t mind and those that do, don’t matter.” And we matter most to ourselves. Fabulous things you are doing….count me in on the waiting list
So true, my dear, we need to push the voices aside – sometimes they drown every good thing we try to do. Sometimes, doing what you have to do is a matter of holding one’s breath (like swimming lessons for little kids) and just dunking one’s head under and getting through it. Because afterwards we can come up for air and wow. That’s fabulous.
You are a channel for the universe. Maybe we all are. But you my friend, are reaching the masses and touching them way deep inside.
Thank you for your wise words. I read a lot of blogs and have them in a handy blog reader utility. When it shows me a new post has arrived from you I smile. Yours is my very favorite blog.
Hearing you have a few books coming to us (because of course True Vines will succeed in finding us too) makes me joyful. I hold out my hands and say “Yes please, and thank you”.
Ok, now I’m verklempt. Thank you for the kindness of this comment. You can’t know how it touches me, or maybe you do.
Every blog post that you write is a pleasure to read and an inspiration. Such valuable words. And now 2 books??
I can’t wait..
Gonca, all I have to do is see your name here or on FB and a warm calm comes over me. xo
“The book tells of a woman who at upper-midlife finds herself alone and starting again in the midst of radical geographical and emotional change. It’s a story about collecting the mosaic pieces of past experiences and setting them into some kind of pattern that speaks to a greater truth for the future.” Diana… you’ve gone and done it again. Although I know you don’t really speak of me, it seems that with every post, (and now with every book!) you are speaking directly to me. How do you know… how do you know?
xoxoxo Now it’s me who owes you an email! This is our time, Laurie. That’s just how it is. Warm hugs.
Wow–as another read said: synchronicity. I’ve been in and out of the mechanics’ for some major realignment myself lately–feels good! Brava on getting that novel under your belt–that’s no mean feat.
Thank you Elizabeth, it was no mean feat, but it was worth every second just to get it down on paper and be able to see it with my own eyes. And I can say something about synchronicity: once I saw it as a finished work, I knew I was ready to take it to the next level…like the gears engaged all on their own. I wish you the best on your own work.
Complimenti on your books. I cannot wait!
Maybe 2012 will be the year that my Truth is clear. I thought I knew what it was for the last 14 years. I guess I was wrong.
Really looking forward to your e-book. Perhaps it will help me find some clarity.
x
Arlene, you know, you weren’t wrong. I don’t think so, at least. I see it way differently now. Finding our truth is like peeling an onion. We get past the outer skins and we think, oh, this is it, this is who I am. But then those skins start to shrivel and peel as well and we have all we can do to stay open and flexible, ready to take on new information and trying on new things that feel right. Then, one day, there it is. It shows itself. It’s a process. A lovely but exasperating one.
Find myself torn between speaking and living my truth- which as you so succinctly put it, rings harmoniously with me- and seems to sound rather like a clanging bell to significant other! I am not afraid of seismic changes for me… but what about others that rely on you. Is it just a question of trust?
I guess, Debbie, that it eventually comes to a matter of letting the chips fall where they may. While it’s difficult to come to terms with the consequences of our own truth (in terms of how others will perceive us), the consequences of not coming to terms with who we are are much more difficult in the long run. Yes, I think with our loved ones, they’ll come through the changes with us for the most part. There might be things to iron out. But love can conquer those kinds of wrinkles.
Already looking forward to the ebook. Please let us know when True Vines is published!
Cindy, I’m working on the ebook, and I look forward to getting it to my readers!!! True Vines will be coming out a bit later in the year, I’ll be sharing more information about the process as I can. Thank you so much.
Ahhh, this is something I am struggling with so much right now. I know what I want/need to do to live my truth, but what if your life isn’t you own?’
I have been in an unhappy marriage for years now. I cannot seem to speak the words that I need to knowing it will destroy my children’s world.
I am paralized.
I so look forward to your e-book AND your published book.
Thank you again for your beautiful words. Perhaps some day I will be able to live my truth as well.
Kel
This is one of the most difficult situations that there is. You are living your truth by coming into this crossroads with your eyes open, please remember that. Reality will shuffle out the solution, and it will be solution that both you and your children can live with. The paralysis will not last for ever, but right now it’s there so you can sort through and come out the other end. Paralysis is very frustrating, and hurtful, and anxiety causing. In the mean time, I hope you can buy yourself some space by speaking your truth on smaller issues, trying it on (which I am sure you already do) for size, getting comfortable with the discomfort of other people’s disapproval, and then move slowly and cautiously from there. My warmest wishes are with you.
It was by wonderful chance that I found you today on amy oscar’s #soulcall twitter chat. There was a lot of delicious musing, but what you had to say caught my attention. It was your vulnerability, honesty, and truth. I imagine you have many stories to tell about your journey to where you are now.
Wish you were just down the block, I’d stop by with a bottle of wine and something good to eat so we could share stories at the kitchen table. Italy is one of my great loves!
With thanks for your beauty and truth-telling. I look forward to be a part of your incredible journey.
Hi, Alisa! I absolutely love Amy Oscar, she has become a friend and is a kindred spirit. It’s so nice that you’ve touched with me here, and I hope that we visit more. The most amazing part of this journey for me is the amazing synergies I find with people I meet. Thank you so much for coming here and commenting. Warmest wishes to you!
Ahhh ….
Diana … my heart truly overflows with such happiness for your happiness …
the dam is broken and may happiness flood your land and leave behind all the
worthiness from your endeavors! I smile just at the thought of your novel and
the amazing journey you’ve taken and continue to; you’re blessed by it and
bless others because of it … thank you. Cannot wait to learn of more goodness
from you.
You made
my night as I read this right before turning in.
Peace to
you,
Elena
oh Elena, why do your comments always make me want to cry. Your ability to give so openly and freely is a gift. You’re one of those people that brings light into the lives of others. Bless you.
so how can we read True Vines?
Thank you so much for coming and commenting! True Vines is finding its way through its publishing channel now and will be out sometime later in 2012. As soon as I can say more about that, I will, so I thank you very much for asking.
Hearty congratulations on finishing, Diana–can’t wait to read your story!
So exciting and inspiring (as always!)
I love “ If you stay with who you are, hold onto it, walk with your truth even if it’s not the most pleasant companion at times, relationships start to shift seismically, and the people that really understand, who have always really understood, will celebrate you.” Beautiful.
Thank you and I am truly happy for you! Oh, and I have a feeling you will be reason I finally get a kindall- or however you spell it.
blessings and light to you!
I certainly hope to be able to read a copy of True vines sometime.
Hurry up, please….. xoxo